AYUFAG SYNDROME

Lock your doors.
Hide your children.
Pray to Jesus.

Ayufag syndrome is a disease which affects everyone from ages three to three hundred. It is very dangerous and spreads more rapidly than the flu. Currently the disease is present in Japan, the United States, Korea, China, Malaysia, Indonesia, India, old men's underpants, etc.

Causes:
-Listening to Ayumi Hamasaki over an already excessive 30 minutes
-Dancing to any Ayumi Hamasaki song
-Wanting to be the next J-POP star
--Recording yourself singing and posting it on youtube and/or soundclick
-Insulting anyone who doesn't like an Ayumi Hamasaki song

Effects:
-Going deaf
-Yearning plastic surgery
-Going bankrupt

INFO: Though they share similar traits, retarded people should not be confused with Ayufags. Those who suffer from being retarded are actually happy and friendly people, as opposed to a typical Ayufag.

WARNING: WHEN EXPOSED TO AYUFAGS OR EVEN A SCENT OF AYUFAG SYNDROME, FLEE THE SCENE FOR ATLEAST TWO HOURS FOR THE AURA TO FADE FROM THE AREA.

So, about that new 'single'

Yeah, they sure did leak, since they sound derived from when she was leaking on the toilet. But who would have guessed, right?

Glitter is ABSOLUTELY and UTTERLY DREADFUL. Search up all synonyms of TERRIBLE and they completely DEFINE this song. If you hated fairyland wait till- no, don't even allow your ears to undergo such harm. For me, fairyland was cute and different for an ayumi song, a little annoying; but after you do it several more times it's completely annoying and disturbing. Disturbing. The English... changing your eyes doesn't make you white, Ayumi, and it never will. To be completely honest I couldn't make it through the whole song. It's that bad. I would rather Utada's Sanctuary a dozen times than ever feel such harm penetrating my ear drums. What's even more hilarious is that Ayufags claim 'it's so different.'


Now for fated, I was very surprised. It started out with an annoying rock area then went to peaceful flutes whistling across the horizon after a wonderful day... until the vocals starting. It was like having a picnic and all of the sudden a rhinosaurus comes along and completely smashes that potato salad you worked all night making.

glitter: 1/10 - reused and disgustified
fated: 6/10 - nice song, vocals decreased rating, annoying reused rock crap near the end

HELLO.

WELCOME TO HAMASATAN. Your new source for all of that Ayumi Hating glory that you have righteously kept inside you for so long in fear of Ayufags completely bombing your home! HERE you will experience NO PREJUDICE for HATING Ayumi Hamasaki. Come now, we all hate Ayumi, don't we? How can we deny the terrible vocals mimicing piglet and the copied (and ruined) fashions, hairstyles, and everything else here in Japan. The screeching that made your grandfather go deaf, and the hidden suggestive content in every one of her music videos. The influence on young Asian girls has overwhelmed them to spend ￥40000 on purses and even more so on plastic surgery. "私はあゆみのような目が欲しいと思います (I want Ayumi's eyes)" they tell surgeons. The corruption must STOP.

Now before you get into Ayufag mode, yes, I do have a life. This blog will be a collection of hilariously true things I find along the way through my daily life