Tales from an Ayufag's perspective, Vol. I

ERIKA and the Awful Ayufag
Chapter 1
This is a tale of an Ayufag who hated ERIKA. He hated her so much, Satan would summon Ayumi's Minions to compell this being with the power to come up with bad excuses for her failure.

This is his tale.

"What a waste of the main award at the taishou :/," the Ayufag said, but this anger would only be the start of his evil reign.

Before the beloved ERIKA's single release, he announced
"The whole Saint Michel thing was a backdrop and she didn't even leave the country."
Unfortunately for the Ayufag, Erika proved him wrong and with not only her single, also brought an entire photobook and DVD of her in France! The Ayufag crawled in it's hole to weep of the fact that Ayumi did not win this award. Many laughed.

But this was not the end!

He came back for more! He again screamed into the ears of innocent civilians, "I think other than Ayu, there's no one else that has her lasting power with sales.. except maybe Hikki" and again "I bet it won't reach past 20k" he yelled!

The village laughed, as ERIKA's single surpassed 100,000 copies.


Chapter 2

"Ayu is so not tone deaf.
to have to redebut would be sort of embarrassing if she doesn't do well..,"
the Ayufag stood up and announced.

Jesus then smiled at the villagers, as they all laughed in their hearts, all thinking the same thing.
That Ayumi's debut album, "NOTHING FROM NOTHING," failed to such an extent, Ayumi herself prefers to forget it, and also his statement about ayumi being tone deaf, for her voice makes Mariah Carey cringe.

The villagers learned a valuable lesson.
When an Ayufag dares enter their village, it is best to stone it to death before peace is stolen. For not realizing this in time, the Ayufag will continue to talk shit until the end of time.
The villagers also learned a way to cope with this, that the Ayufag could be a good thing, a source of laughter for everyone for centuries, and it went on to be a big part of our humor today.


THE END

Some old quotes

“It's hard to decide how to match words to music. It's not like it's twice the work. It's always difficult for me to explain to the composer what I'm looking for. I'm not a professional; I lack even basic knowledge about writing music.”
ayumi admits she has no talent


“It was written in some newspaper that I'm a Japanese Britney Spears. I like her, and she's fun to watch, but I don't get the sense that she's her own creation. Who I really like is Madonna. What I admire is she's made it on her own terms.”
this one is particularily hilarious. she's dissing (past) britney for not being her own creation, yet admits she prefers to copy madonna. see: ayumi the copycat


“I read and watch movies. I can't go to the movie theater much anymore, though, because I get recognized. It's worse sometimes if I wear a costume and try not to get recognized. I watch most of my films on airplanes.”
LOLOLOLOLOLOL

“It sounds odd coming from me, but I realize what I say and how I look has a great impact.”
No sounds about right actually lol

TALKIN' 2 MYSELF???

It seems hamasaki has got into such a desperate position that she has to resort to, quote, "talkin' 2 myself."

With covers like this, you know the single sucks. Everyone knows Pepsi is better.


"kawaii ne do u like it u asked for more GAME i will give u game lol! don't shoot me"