I Was Wrong.

Ayumi Hamasaki is a singer. She made her debut and was an instant success. Everybody in the world loves Ayumi. It is a known Fact. She is an Angel, she is Jesus. I have realized this.

On Oricon, the reviewer of Ayumi Hamasaki's Super Successful Single "Mirrocle World" is saying it is not a good song. They do not have to lie to themselves. Because Ayumi is lovable in every prospect. Ayumi is Jesus. Worship Ayumi.

I love you Ayumi Hamasaki. You are a cutie.

Ogre Ayumi

it's been a while since my last post, hasn't it

who wouldn't known i'd get sick of making fun of ayumi lol
it's come to the point where i don't even have to do anything at all anymore because she can make fun of herself just fine

who names an album "GUILTY"? what is she guilty of? trying to be ichigo from bleach lol? natural, beautiful, cute, nervous, lovely; i don't know if she's insulting herself or trying to compliment herself lol. why you would want to identify yourself as nervous i do not know. what's particularily hilarious about this is the 'natural' part if you know what i mean. never would i thought plastics to be natural.

Oh well, I made this image at work when I had nothing to do lol be disgusted or have whatever feelings you want about it. enjoy

Tales from an Ayufag's perspective, Vol. I

ERIKA and the Awful Ayufag
Chapter 1
This is a tale of an Ayufag who hated ERIKA. He hated her so much, Satan would summon Ayumi's Minions to compell this being with the power to come up with bad excuses for her failure.

This is his tale.

"What a waste of the main award at the taishou :/," the Ayufag said, but this anger would only be the start of his evil reign.

Before the beloved ERIKA's single release, he announced
"The whole Saint Michel thing was a backdrop and she didn't even leave the country."
Unfortunately for the Ayufag, Erika proved him wrong and with not only her single, also brought an entire photobook and DVD of her in France! The Ayufag crawled in it's hole to weep of the fact that Ayumi did not win this award. Many laughed.

But this was not the end!

He came back for more! He again screamed into the ears of innocent civilians, "I think other than Ayu, there's no one else that has her lasting power with sales.. except maybe Hikki" and again "I bet it won't reach past 20k" he yelled!

The village laughed, as ERIKA's single surpassed 100,000 copies.


Chapter 2

"Ayu is so not tone deaf.
to have to redebut would be sort of embarrassing if she doesn't do well..,"
the Ayufag stood up and announced.

Jesus then smiled at the villagers, as they all laughed in their hearts, all thinking the same thing.
That Ayumi's debut album, "NOTHING FROM NOTHING," failed to such an extent, Ayumi herself prefers to forget it, and also his statement about ayumi being tone deaf, for her voice makes Mariah Carey cringe.

The villagers learned a valuable lesson.
When an Ayufag dares enter their village, it is best to stone it to death before peace is stolen. For not realizing this in time, the Ayufag will continue to talk shit until the end of time.
The villagers also learned a way to cope with this, that the Ayufag could be a good thing, a source of laughter for everyone for centuries, and it went on to be a big part of our humor today.


THE END

Some old quotes

“It's hard to decide how to match words to music. It's not like it's twice the work. It's always difficult for me to explain to the composer what I'm looking for. I'm not a professional; I lack even basic knowledge about writing music.”
ayumi admits she has no talent


“It was written in some newspaper that I'm a Japanese Britney Spears. I like her, and she's fun to watch, but I don't get the sense that she's her own creation. Who I really like is Madonna. What I admire is she's made it on her own terms.”
this one is particularily hilarious. she's dissing (past) britney for not being her own creation, yet admits she prefers to copy madonna. see: ayumi the copycat


“I read and watch movies. I can't go to the movie theater much anymore, though, because I get recognized. It's worse sometimes if I wear a costume and try not to get recognized. I watch most of my films on airplanes.”
LOLOLOLOLOLOL

“It sounds odd coming from me, but I realize what I say and how I look has a great impact.”
No sounds about right actually lol

TALKIN' 2 MYSELF???

It seems hamasaki has got into such a desperate position that she has to resort to, quote, "talkin' 2 myself."

With covers like this, you know the single sucks. Everyone knows Pepsi is better.


"kawaii ne do u like it u asked for more GAME i will give u game lol! don't shoot me"

desu

"-Pop queen Ayumi Hamasaki (浜崎あゆみ) has recently been rumored to be seeing a psychiatrist with her mother ever since her younger peer Koda Kumi has been gaining enormous popularity in Japan. Some people think that she's jealous of Koda's rapid rise to stardom and that she's got problems dealing with that.

According to Chinese music website yymax.com, Ayumi was betrayed by a man who claimed to be her former manager and best friend. This person started selling insider info and gossip about Ayumi to tabloids and magazines as early as this Spring. His news also include Ayumi's 'secret' dates with her rumored boyfriend Tokio at her mother's house. "

http://www.asianbite.com/default.asp?Display=235

lol

Distance recorded the highest first week sales for any album ever released in Japan with just over 3,000,000 copies sold. A BEST debuted right behind at number 2 with 2,900,000 in first week sales, the second highest first-week sales for an album in Japan.